Tahan Sahaja… Just Endure

Pain Header

Pain Header

You break me down, you build me up, believer, believer

Imagine Dragons

When I was in the Army, I was a cross-country runner. I was pretty good at it. I’d get my second wind quickly and then I felt like I could actually run at a good pace forever. I considered running competitively and even started looking for marathons outside of the Army. But when my knee started hurting I stopped running. I didn’t realize that athletes consider pain to be an integral part of their sport. Hell, I never felt like a real athlete anyway. My knee still hurts all the time, but I often wonder what I missed.

Now, I’m a Web Developer. A while ago, I started to feel pain in my hand. It got bad and then, even after corrective surgery, it got much worse. So, I stopped working… stopped doing anything, really, just because my hand hurts… WTF!? Didn’t I already learn this lesson?!

I never anticipated the intense chronic pain, but that doesn’t matter. It’s a stupid excuse for neglecting my work and my hobby and most of what I do for fun. I can still use my hand and it’ll hurt no matter what I do. So… less Netflix, YouTube, and FMovies… More HTML, CSS, JavaScript, React, Vue, etc…

I might not be as productive as I’d like, especially with the pain and impending doom spine surgery, but that’s no excuse to do nothing.

… To be continued…